Thursday, July 10, 2008

Top 5 Celebs you didn't know were geeks

5. Natalie Portman

Natalie Portman photo

Recently Natalie returned to the ground she covered with Dershowitz when she starred as anarchist apprentice Evey Hammond in the terrorist fable V for Vendetta. This got her invited to Columbia to speak to a class on terrorism and antiterrorism and, more importantly, bridging the raw, seemingly eternal divide between comic book and Star Wars geeks.

4. Vin Diesel

Vin Diesel photo

His geek flag flew higher when he opened up his own gaming development house, Tigon Studios, just because he was tired of people making crappy games based on movies. The very fabric of existence was rent asunder when, to the shocked and frightened gasps of a reviewing public, it turned out The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay, the first video game based on a movie since Goldeneye was not just better than the movie, but better than just about every other game that came out that year. It's average review score was 90 percent, according to MetaCritic.

3. Asia Carrera

Porn star Asia Carrera

Retired porn star Asia Carrera, real name Jessica Steinhauser, is a bit of a legend in the porn industry. With 36-26-36 measurements, she performed in a jaw-dropping 400 hundred films in her career and exchanged an unthinkable amount of bodily fluids. She's also mother of two.

She calls herself "the nerd of porn," and we assumed it was some kind of in-joke, until we saw her credentials. Here is somebody who studied piano as a child and by the age of 14 was playing in Carnegie Hall.

2. Queen guitarist Brian May

Queen guitarist Brian May

When he wasn't busy rocking faces, May fiddled around with astrophysics, co-authoring two scientific papers and the book Bang! - The Complete History of the Universe with Christ Lintott and Patrick Moore. He also has been a regular guest on the latter's show The Sky at Night for years). Finally, after he was satisfied that he had squeezed all the rocking he could into one lifetime, he went back and got his doctorate in the fall of '07.

Then, he was appointed Chancellor of Liverpool John Moores University, meaning we now have a man who can look upon both Albert Einstein and Eddie Van Halen and ask why they didn't get more done.

1. Dolph Lundgren

Dolph Lundgren photo

As it turns out, this towering blond monster who casually told Sylvester Stallone, "I will break you," could have, in fact, probably calculated the amount of effort (in force pounds per square inch and Joules expenditure) needed to do just that in his head.

The man reportedly has an IQ of 160. He graduated from the Royal Institute of Technology in Sweden, got his master's in chemical engineering, then was awarded a Fulbright Scholarship to MIT. After just two weeks of that, his superhuman intellect allowed him to calculate that a life spent inventing life-saving chemicals would mathematically contain less awesome than one movie spent playing He-Man.

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Wild Marker said...

And how about Lex Friedman?

Nick said...

We have these sort of people as celebrities, and they still follow around the celebrities who's own shit could score higher on an IQ test like Hilton and Spears? WTF?

Afghan Whig said...

I thought we weren't supposed to know they were geeks. Seriously, was anyone surprised by Natalie Portman? Speaking of N.P., how did such a smart woman ever feel the need to act in a paranoid, anti-intellectual film like V for Vendetta? I guess politics can spoil even the brightest minds.

Captain_Bennett said...

ast may, I was in the Physics department at Imperial College, London, and happened to glance at the board showing the pictures and names of all the staff and students. I saw Brian May's face there...I spent the rest of the day hoping I might bump into him in the lift or something, but alas it never happened. Only name I can think of at the moment is I think Paul Verhoven (director of Robocop) as either a degree or PhD in Maths. There's a bit in the film where a petrol station attendant is seen with a Maths textbook - it's a little in-joke.

vincentius said...

I saw Dolph Lundgren on German television in the 80s and his German was so bad the interviewer switched to English....

GCA said...

Natalie Portman is drop dead gorgeous and I love her. When she reads this she will know that I am real and she will let me do things that the rest of you can only masterbate about.

Smaug said...

Forgot the part about Brian May building his own guitars-(Genuine George Formby Ukelele)

ziga said...

Since when does being highly educated or gifted makes someone a geek?

Gman said...

I now hate all of these people, prettier than me but now smarter too!