Friday, July 11, 2008

Top 10 Ladies Who Used to Be Hot

Too many actresses are believing the line that you can’t be too thin. Please, ladies, eat a sandwich or something at the craft services cart. Here are a special shout-out to ten skinny-ass celebs that used to really turn heads.

10. Thandie Newton

Most recently seen in: Run Fat Boy Run
Last time she was hot: Mission: Impossible II

Thandie Newton hot wallpapers


There was a time that Thandie Newton was the next Hollywood hottie. Then someone must have suggested that she had some jelly rolls, because she lost more weight than a cancer patient on Atkins. Now she looks more like a zero-body-fat lizard than a celebrity beauty.

9. Victoria Beckham

Most recently seen in: Ugly Betty
Last time she was hot: when the Spice Girls were

Victoria Beckham photo


Not that I was a fan of the Spice Girls, but I will admit that they covered all the bases in terms of fantasy girls. But the former Posh Spice has lost so much weight that her once sultry figure makes her look like a lollipop - a wobbly head on a stick. I’m afraid her neck is going to snap and her hubby will kick her head around their flat like a soccer ball.

8. Jennifer Connelly

Most recently seen in: Reservation Road
Last time she was hot: Requiem for a Dream

Jennifer Connelly photo


Can you believe this was the girl from The Rocketeer? Or Dark City? This buxom brunette starts getting some Hollywood credibility and drops down to a size zero. There’s nothing wrong with losing a little pudge, but when you look like one of the starving children from Sierra Leone in Blood Diamond, something’s wrong.

7. Rachel Taylor

Most recently seen in: Shutter
Last time she was hot: Transformers

Rachel Taylor photo


Okay, I really loved her debut in Transformers. Very few ladies in Hollywood could give Megan Fox a run for the money, especially in a two-hour Michael Bay beer commercial. But in Shutter, this girl looked like she hadn’t eaten since working with Bay. She could make it as an up-and-coming hottie, if she actually ate a sandwich.

6. Kate Bosworth

Most recently seen in: 21
Last time she was hot: Blue Crush

Kate Bosworth photo


She just beat the house last weekend in 21, and she banged Superman without being mortally wounded, but I just can’t get over the fact she looks like a 12-year-old boy. It wasn’t hard to hide her nipples in the 21 sex scene, considering she’s about as anorexically flat-chested as Jim Sturgess was.

5. Ashlee Simpson

Most recently seen in: 2008 Kids Choice Awards
Last time she was hot: 2008 Kids Choice Awards, but still doesn’t look healthy

Ashlee Simpson photo


She was the less-cute sister of Jessica Simpsons, but thanks to silicone, collagen, rhinoplasty and crash diets, she now looks like a supermodel. But that’s not a good thing. It might work for a bulimic supermodel, but for a girl who could have been America’s sweetheart, she looks less like her former self than Michael Jackson does.

4. Angelina Jolie

Most recently seen in: Beowulf
Last time she was hot: Beowulf (hell, they can do a lot with CGI)

Angelina Jolie photo


Not too long ago, I saw a tabloid compare photos of Jolie’s scrawny, veiny arm to that of geriatric Clint Eastwood. And you know what? Sometimes tabloids are right. This once hot chick has gotten way too thin. Have you seen the trailers for Wanted? Give me back the Gia days, baby!

3. Lindsay Lohan

Most recently seen in: I Know Who Killed Me
Last time she was hot: Herbie Fully Loaded

Lindsay Lohan photo


Granted, she’s up and down more often than Oprah lately, but let’s blame this on her lack of focus. I saw her nudie shots from New York Magazine. And while I’m impressed with her huge (but obviously fake) knockers, I just can’t get excited about the freckly femme’s whisper-thin frame. She was chubby-cheerleader cute for a while, but just a year or so ago, her weight plummeted, making her scary-thin for a while.

2. Saffron Burrows

Most recently seen in: The Bank Job
Last time she was hot: Deep Blue Sea

Saffron Burrows photo


It’s arguable that former model Saffron Burrows ever really looked healthy. But watching this scrawny, lanky lady tower over Jason Statham in The Bank Job was enough to get her on this list. She made his evil co-star from Transporter 2 look fat. Still, that underwear shot in Deep Blue Sea was pretty nice.

1. Gwyneth Paltrow

Most recently seen in: The Good Night
Last time she was hot: Se7en

Gwyneth Paltrow photo


Anyone who is familiar with me as a film critic knows that I have been highly critical of Paltrow for years. But aside from her inability to act (and so many people’s inability to see that she can’t act), I detest how she is physically wasting away as she gets older. She’s one of those girls that went overboard to lose the baby weight. Now, as she enters her late 30s, that too-thin look is not working for her.

Posted by Kevin Carr (kevin@filmschoolrejects.com)

6 comments:

Celebrity Quiz said...

Correction - Ashley Simpson was never hot

Thip said...

Lindsay Lohan’s breasts are not fake

Bazman05 said...

Victoria Beckham or Miss Piggy as I like to call her is a hideous looking thing but me saying that doesn’t make it so either. Isn’t that right, Kevin Carr. Her inclusion kind of ruined the list for me.

Mokkelaar said...

Well.. better a bit too thin than way too fat!!

BayAreaDM said...

I agree..Cameron Diaz came to mind first and foremost. She was the most beautiful woman I’d seen in a LONG time in The Mask.

Mercurystar said...

I agree - Sarah Jessica Park, Cameron Diaz, etc. have all gone on the way side of joining
the crowd in becoming ultra-thin. Most of Hollywood has gone that direction, and it is
ironic considering the modeling world is getting in trouble for having ultra thin models.
Since when did having curves become a past, glorious thing? It’s a shame these women
seem to think being anything but stick-thin is a crime. I love curves - it designates health
and sex appeal to me. To me, these women seem to be unhappy with themselves and are
trying to ‘become one of the group’. And I thought I had low self-esteem!
So glad I never followed the norm and never will! :P